Tired of dealing with your ish all by yourself? Starting right now, you can ask Tionna Tee Smalls, the author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right, and of the blog Talk Dat Ish, about love, relationships, life, and who is the best contestant on 'Making The Band.' We finally found an advice columnist! (She was in Brooklyn.)
Tionna, I am not kidding at all that my mind is SO not right right now. I broke up with my pothead boyfriend of 6 years and now I'm living on my own for the first time, which is good, but I tried to get over it extra quick by rebounding with someone inappropriate.... I want your advice about where I go from here. I've never really been single before and I'm worried I'm fucking it up.
Also some people keep claiming that you don't exist, but I am sending this email based on my gut assumption that you do, and if you don't, I am gonna feel like a biscuit.
Bitter in Boerum Hill
First and foremost, I have been there. I was with a guy for six years who I broke my vaginity with and he doesn't even talks to me now. So you know that is crazy. First off, you said the main problem, he is a pot head. He is not on your level, what so ever. Believe me, you can do better. Men that knows that they are not on your level will do anything to bring you down. I will send you the unedited version of my
book, "Girl, Get Your Mind Right!" so that you can understand what mind wreckers aka mind fuckers do. Being with someone six years definitely has a toll on your soul and your heart is going to need a lot of strength to heal but it's like what Beyonce said in her song, "Me, Myself, and I," you've hurt me but I learned a lot along the way. You know what I am saying?
You are going to feel fear, you are going to feel denial, and you may blame yourself but remember, never blame yourself. You are a good woman, with a good job, and I assume that you have no children. We need to go out and find you someone new. Just not right now, you need time to be by yourself. Seriously. Being by yourself will give you time to GROW. Being alone is great for self improvement.
This is the time to ask yourself what went wrong? And what can you do better for the next suitor that comes along?
I hope my response didn't have too many grammatical biscuits. Remember I am always here, I am the hood Psychologist... LMAO.
Tionna Tee Smalls