Does anyone really believe it's a coincidence that Google CFO George Reyes has announced his retirement so soon after the company missed Wall Street analysts' expectations for earnings in its second quarter? I only regret that I hadn't included Reyes in our ongoing "Toogle Many Googlers" series, in which Valleywag attempts to solve the binge of overhiring that led to Google's profit shortfall. After all, if the CFO isn't minding the payroll, who is? When reading these departing-executive press releases, just imagine that the fond farewells are in opposite-speak, and they begin to make sense.
CEO Eric Schmidt says of Reyes:Though we fully appreciate his decision to step back from active management, we'll miss his thoughtfulness, good humor and wisdom.What he means:
That Reyes sure made us laugh a lot, especially when he tried to make us plan budgets, didn't he?
Google cofounder Larry Page adds:
He has done an excellent job in keeping us financially disciplined while protecting the best of our entrepreneurial culture.
But he means:
Reyes didn't warn us loudly enough that we were hiring too many people, so he's out of here.
And Reyes himself?
Working at Google these past 5 and a half years has been an extraordinary ride.
And what he means:
Stop the world, I want to get off.