Last night Gothamist, the 1010Wins of the blogosphere, held a dating event called "Check Out" at Whole Foods on the Bowery. Apparently (and, pretty predictably) the event was an unmitigated disaster. Our mole, Lauren, 23, reports.

First of all, there were thirty women for every guy. And the guys were all pretty dorky. When you got there you had to wait in this massive line to register. Almost as soon as the event started, you had to go on a scavenger hunt. But instead of it being a group activity, one in which you might actually meet someone, you were supposed to do it alone. It was mostly historical culinary questions that you had to answer by roaming around the aisles.

That sounds suspiciously like shopping at Whole Foods!

"The hottest guys there were the ones selling granola and they weren't even part of the event," she said. There was also a message board where you could write secret messages to your fellow sad singles using the number written on their nametags. Lauren doesn't think any couplings were induced despite Gothamist's cupidity—and Craigslist's Missed Connections page, our go-to source on Whole Foods romance, seems to confirm it. Silly Gothamist readers. Don't they realize the really hot singles scene is at Yonah Schimmel's Knishery down the street?

[UPDATE: Josh's dumbass boss headlined this "Sausage Party" earlier because Doree quit yesterday and he's still upset and distracted. So it's her fault really. Fucking bitch. The post headline has been updated. Lord.]