Excellent news today for the Turcotte family, and for fans of, you know, truth and justice: Author Augusten Burroughs has reached an undisclosed settlement with the Turcottes for unfairly describing them as filthy, perverted, Pink Flamingos-style loons in a hugely popular book that was supposedly about his adolescence. Running With Scissors will now be "classified as a 'book' rather than 'memoirs'"—guess we'll look for it in the "books" section at Barnes & Noble!— and Burroughs will include a note in the acknowledgments of future editions of the book. From the sounds of it, it's going to be a bit of a Crap Email From A Dude!

According to a statement from the family's attorneys, Burroughs' new acknowledgments note will say that the Turcottes "are each fine, decent, and hardworking people," and that the book was not intended to hurt them.

Oof. That's so, like, "I'm sorry your feelings were hurt." One hopes they at least got a lot of money out of Burroughs; they'd asked for $2 million.

Family Settles With Running With Scissors Author [AP]