New Line's upcoming gun-porn action flick Shoot 'Em Up has already demonstrated the entertaining merits of ripping off a few rounds in the direction of an armored baby. But according to the movie's star, burgeoning imperiled-infant junkie Clive Owen, the real value for America is when you strip them of their defenses and chuck the helpless pawns into a steady stream of danger:
"[T]he babies were great. I wish we could have put the babies in even more dangerous situations because they centered the action sequences."
However ridiculous the film is, you can't pull off a crazy film unless you believe in it, even in its ridiculousness. So the babies were very centric. It just made us realize that's what the film's about. It's about looking after this little baby.
In related news, Owen announced he's the celebrity spokesperson for a new, life-affirming line of backyard toddler gauntlets that challenge your squalling child to survive bursts of flame, spikes bursting from the floor, and an aggressive barrage of Uzi fire. Now, we can all watch proudly as our progeny repeatedly dodges certain death, comforted by the knowledge that we finally understand What It All Means.