Bobby Brown Wants Hell To The Visitation Rights

We were sufficiently convinced that it sucks being Bobby Brown by Bravo's televisual testament to the fecal-based triumphs and tragedies of his unholy union with Whitney Houston. Never one to rest on his pathetic laurels, however, Brown has decided to fight a judge's April ruling that dissolved his marriage and awarded full custody of doomed spawn Bobbi Kristina to Whitney, on the grounds that he is merely a selfless giver screwed over by a wicked teen-napping succubus:

"I have not seen or spoken to my daughter since early June and I have no prospect of speaking to her anytime soon due to Whitney's actions," Brown declared in Orange County Superior Court filings released last week.
During a court hearing in April, Houston testified that Brown was "unreliable" and that she didn't need spousal or child support.

Brown disputes her claim, saying he's been involved in their daughter's life and was her primary caretaker when the couple lived in Atlanta.

When Houston moved to Orange County to undergo drug rehabilitation, Brown said he paid about $10,000 for his wife and daughter to stay at a posh hotel.

"At the same time, I basically lived out of my car," Brown said.

Although it seems cruel that he wants to confront Bobbi Kristina more regularly with the sad truth of her DNA, the important question remains: Without him in her life, who will probe her doodie bubbles? Is he paranoid about competition in that department from the spindly digits of absentee prospective stepfather Osama bin Laden? If so, don't sweat it, Bobby. That dude seems squeamish.