If you, like us, have at times found yourself wondering what ever happened to Dessarae Bradford, author of I Fucked Alec Baldwin In His Ass (a Quality Paperback Bookclub Selection of the Month™!), guerrilla ambusher of Tonight Show appearances, and, with the recent publication of Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy, quickly becoming one of the most prolific celebrity-stalking fruitcake authoresses in recent history—well, then, this is your lucky day. A press release has landed in our inbox from Dessarae herself, updating us to the various exciting projects in development at her production company, based out of an air conditioning exhaust vent behind the 99¢ Only store at Wilshire and Fairfax. A mere taste:
Greetings, this is Dessarae Bradford author ofr [sic] the book Colin Farrell: A Dark Twitsted [sic] Puppy, and whom caused a stir on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno confronting Colin Farrell last July. I wanted all my friends in the media to be the first to get the update on what I have in store for you all this year.
First, since my departure from the spot light, I have been working on my album entitled: DESSARAE BRADFORD UNRESTRAINED which features my new rock metal, and hip hop songs " Poison Love" a rock ballet [sic?] and " Rage" a hard metal song that will be presenting first as a single. My "Rage" song targets the two most villianized [sic] figures of our time Osama Bin Laden and Oj Simpson.
Being that those two men are so deeply hated in our culture though for different reason, I decided to write a song in capsulatingt [sic] the hatred that alot [sic] feel for them. [...]
In the "RAGE" video that will be shot in early September, I stalk out Oj and Bin Laden look alikes and murder them during the video hardcore yet comicly [sic], while chanting the hook of the song "YOUR DEATH IS MY REWARD."
And that's just the beginning! The full release, published on Bradford's website, goes on to relay her plans to conquer every facet of the entertainment industry, not the least of which includes her first movie—a self-produced, semi-autobiographical erotic love story, working title, Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy - The Movie. It's certain to be the crowning jewel of the multimedia assault inspired by the vernal, canine mating habits of the Irish movie star.