Kristian Laliberte Is The New U.N. Ambassador From Doucheland

From the e-desk of noted socialolgay Kristian Laliberte comes a missive with an opening that gave us pause:

Dear Friends,
Some of you are already helping with this amazing event, but I wanted to invite those who are not the chance to buy tickets. I am the Vice-Chair for the Junior Committee, and tickets at the Junior level are $250.00.

I am writing on behalf of The United Nations.

We paused here, as you no doubt just did, to clean the gobs of spat-out beverage off our monitor. And as we paused, we wondered whether the world was really as topsy turvy as it had seemed there for a second, or whether Kristian was perhaps exaggerating the importance of his role a tad? Well, you be the judge.
The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) and Equality Now, would like to invite you to the Gala Dinner and Premiere of the Hollywood film Trade starring Kevin Kline, at the United Nations Headquarters. The film powerfully depicts the problem of international sex trafficking of women and children. Although the movie's narrative is fiction, it was inspired by "The Girls Next Door," an article by Peter Landesman published in The New York Times Magazine in January 2004.

This is the first time any major motion picture has held a world premiere at the UN. The premiere will take place at 7 p.m. on the 19th of September, 2007, in the historic Trusteeship Council Chamber at UN Headquarters in New York. The UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon will open the Premiere. The screening will be followed by a gala dinner in the magnificent UN Delegates Dining Room, from 9:00pm until 11:00pm. So far the host committee includes Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Hillary Swank, Sigourney Weaver, Sam Waterston, Stanley Tucci, Candice Bergen, Gloria Steinem, Phoebe Cates, Marisa Tomei, Eve Ensler, Ivanka Trump, Bianca Jagger, Jack McCollough, Lazaro Hernandez, Bijou Phillips, Zani Guggelman, Rachel Roy, Jessica Stam, Lucy Sykes, Eleonora Kennedy, Trade producer Roland Emmerich (director/producer/writer of "The Day After Tomorrow", "The Patriot", "Godzilla", and "Independence Day"), and Terry George (director/producer/writer of "Hotel Rwanda" and director of "In the Name of the Father"). Additional confirmed supporters that will be in attendance include Ted Turner and her holiness Sai Maa. Music will be provided by Mark Ronson.

To view a trailer of Trade, please log onto www.tradethemovie.com. All proceeds of the event will benefit victims of human trafficking.

I would like to ask for your support in the form of a ticket or table purchase for this amazing event. Individual tickets are $250. Tables are $5000 and seat ten.

As the UN is reaching out to the next generation of influential young people, we think he would make a great addition to the attendance. [Ed. Note: HUH?] I would be grateful if you could let me know at your earliest convenience so that we make all necessary arrangements.

If you have any questions, or would like more information, please contact me.
I hope you can join us.

Kind regards,
Kristian