Do you have some ish to deal with? Are mens not on your level? Tionna Tee Smalls, famous blogger and author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right, is here to help. Email her at

Dear Tionna,

Ok I'm having a REALLY BIG PROBLEM. In order for you to completely understand I have to do a little bit of background information. I used to date this guy who is in an organization that I am in (we will call him "Q"). We dated for 2 years, the same amount of time I've been in this organization, and in these 2 years I have become best friends with another guy (who is also in the same organization and we will call him "R"), now during the time of me dating Q, he cheated on me and I found out. Long story short [Ed: uh, no?] me and Q broke up, however me and R started dating, I also must say that because me and R are best friends he was around for the whole me and Q mess and he was around when I found out Q was cheating on me and when me and Q broke up, I basically spent many nights crying on his shoulder. Now comes my problem, R is cheating on me. He's not only cheating on me with a girl who is interested in our organization (that's a bad thing because if this girl does decide to join our organization she and I will be VERY VERY close), but he is also cheating on me with other guys. Now the reason I know this is because I did a bad thing and snooped through his account and I found IMs that show him hooking up with other guys and IMs that prove he was with this other girl (Ive asked him about the other girl and he keeps denying it). As you probably figured out this causes a lot of problems in our "relationship" because I know that he's cheating but he doesn't know I know. The reason why I won't say anything is pretty obvious, the ONLY reason I know that he's cheating is because I snooped.

So, now I'm wondering what should I do.

Can't Keep It On The Down Low

Dear Can't Keep It,

Don't walk! Run, chick, run! Your first mistake was that you went out with a friend who knew all the business that went down between you and Q. Since R was your friend, he knows your vulnerable points and he is taking advantage of you. Secondly, I am assuming that this is a male that you didn't know or didn't suspect had a little sugar in his tank. Its not the fact that he's playing in the boys' room, it's the fact that he's stuck in the closet. Uh huh! He's dealing with boys, he's dealing with girls, and in 2007, there is too much nasty disease going around to be acting sexually irresponsible. Then he's cheating on top of that. Damn, he didn't have the audacity to ask you to join. Lmao.

But foreal, you don't wanna get that drip down there just because u don't want to get rid of him. So tell him to beat it. And another thing missy, don't be snooping into anyone's (not even your man's) instant messages because you are always liable to find out something that you didn't want to find out. You feel me?

Oh yeah, I want you to leave that organization too. Your ex cheating man, your new man's ho, and your down low brother man is all in that same organization. What the hell is this organization called—Tramps Anonymous? It's too much. Go Google organizations that have the same mission statement or ingredients as your current organization. I guarantee that will help ya.

And talking about that trick that was messing with your bi-on-the-low man, oh well. Think about it like this, it's better her than you. She is not the problem. The problem is him: He's a slutbag. I just sure hope

that you made him put a hat on his willy (a condom) because he is a nasty cheater. If you didn't wear a condom, don't fret, my pet! Go get that AIDS test, asap! If you are uninsured like most young people in

NYC, go to the city's free clinic in Chelsea. You can find out your results in no time. Good luck on that and keep me posted!


Tionna Tee Smalls

Mind not right? Need advice? Ask Tionna!

Previously: "Men That Knows They Are Not On Your Level Will Do Anything To Bring You Down"