New Yorker festival! October 5! Tickets go on sale September 15! Here's the whole schedule. Now is your moment: David Denby, Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow, all within sniper range. (Just kidding, Judd, I heart you!) Diplo is DJing Sasha Frere-Jones' dance party, so, yes please on that. And here's the real crazy meat in the crazy pie: "THE NEW YORKER DEBATE. Resolved: The Ivy League Should Be Abolished With Malcolm Gladwell and Adam Gopnik. Chaired by Simon Schama." Are you people for real? Great: one-and-a-half Canadians and a Brit Columbia prof are going to tell us all about it. [Emdashes]