We know that we've already dismissively noted in passing the news of onetime pop star Britney Spears' triumphant return to the VMAs, but this AP video reminds us why the announcement was a moment of incredible cultural import. Somehow, buffeted by constant reports of ill-advised infant tooth-whitening, topless hot-tub hostage-taking, and poop-marred photo shoots, we'd completely forgotten about her impressive VMA performances of the past: the flesh-colored underthings, the albino reptiles, the ceremonial passing-of-the-calculated-provocation-torch sealed with a lesbian-lite kiss, all of it.

We're now officially excited about whatever Britney has planned for the show, and fully expect that she'll try to live up to her MTV legacy by embracing the turbulence of her recent, tabloid-attracting life. When she takes the stage, strips off her breakaway bikini top, and takes a seat in the giant jacuzzi in which a trio of background dancers will alternate turns thrusting their greedy tongues into Spears' mouth and shaving her head with a diamond-encrusted hair clipper—all while a hail of dirty baby dolls rains down from the rafters onto a worshipping throng completely in her thrall—no one will be whooping their approval more loudly than we will.