Socialgay Kristian Laliberte, who does the PR for fledgling label Unruly Heir, had promised us "more of a presentation than a show, with models walking down the runway to inhabit tableaus vivant, or living painting." What this meant: models, dressed in preppie clothes but carrying props such as a croquet mallet, or a ghetto blaster boombox, or a hobo's hankie-on-stick thing, walked down the runway, posed at the end of it it, and then walked over to the side and pretended to "tag" a painting that was pretending to be a fancy painting by spritzing it lightly with pastel spraypaint. One of them threw a tennis ball into the audience! Another walked with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. It was all very badass, very Port Authority meets Palm Beach. Or: very Dalton meets Once I Saw 'Paris Is Burning.' The inimitable Laurel Ptak documented it for posterity.

The afterparty was even more badass. We spent a lot of time talking to the models, who were all around twenty. The most voluble model was Dale Kim, who said he preferred to be described as "an entrepreneur of life" rather than a model. Later, we overheard him asking one of the other models who he was with (meaning: representationwise) and what his next big project was.

None of the models got paid except in clothes, but they did get to take home goodie bags full of men's products, such as Mensgroom brand male grooming paste. There was also a little packet of samples from a brand called John Allan's. They were accompanied by a brochure with the John Allan's tagline: "Reality. Commitment. Balance." As if you are going to marry them or something.

The only drinks at the show were Budweiser Select and Fiji water, and the only eats were platterfuls of edamame and mini Rice Krispie treats being passed in pizza boxes. The free things situation was slightly better at the afterparty at Bar Martignetti. Downstairs, the hoi polloi (models included!) were treated to an open bar. Well, the vodka was free. Everything else, you had to pay for.

Upstairs, though, Kristian held court with his inner circle, and the food was free if you ate it off the rich people's plates. Lesser Known Better Connected blogger Gregory Littley was there, as was Social Life magazine EIC Devorah Rose. Socialite reporter Peter Davis's insanely hot boyfriend Paul Johnson-Calderone—but we thought he hated Kristian?—ate frites alongside teen soap star Leven Rambin, who took a sip of a champagne and ginger cocktail ("Her first sip of alcohol ever!" Paul claimed) and pronounced it nasty.

Kristian ordered steak frites. As I left, he offered me a bite of his steak. I ate it, so I guess this means we are friends now. The steak was pretty tasty.