Perhaps moved by Sarah Silverman's unflattering impression of the clean-shaven vagina for which VMA trainwreck Britney Spears is infamous or by the tear-soaked exit from the ceremony they've exclusively captured on video, the producers of Extra have generously offered the disgraced pop star a chance at nationally televised redemption. From their press release:
"EXTRA'S" OPEN INVITATION TO BRITNEY SPEARS
(Los Angeles - September 10, 2007) - "Extra" is opening its doors to Britney Spears for a second chance at a comeback. We made the call to Spears this morning, inviting her to perform at "Extra" on our stage in Los Angeles or in Las Vegas at the Extra Lounge in Planet Hollywood's Hotel and Resort. Britney, come perform "Gimme More" and show the world what you've got. Our stage is yours....the deal is on the table.
Britney would be in good company in "Extra's" Los Angeles studio where musicians like Lionel Richie, Seal, Lifehouse, The Goo Goo Dolls, Chris Isaak, Hall and Oates, Nelly Furtado, Outkast and Earth, Wind & Fire have all come to perform in the Extra Lounge.
We know it's incredibly cynical of us to raise doubts about the TV newsmagazine's motives, but we fear a trap. Even though we realize our words will probably never reach the exceptionally bright chihuahua Spears recently purchased to plan her comeback, we still feel the need to warn her that Extra probably plans on dosing her rider-mandated backstage bowl of Cheetos with a powerful sedative, hoping that in her pharmaceutically altered state, she won't notice that the leather bra-and-panty set they've provided her is three sizes smaller than the one MTV tricked her into wearing, negating the weeks of punishing workouts she'll endure to be better prepared for her do-over performance. And we genuinely hope that Team Spears needs no such advance warning to turn down TMZ TV's forthcoming offer to repeatedly stun-gun her in the neck while she tries to perform an a cappella version of "Gimme More" in their new studio.