Rosh Hashanah Is The Real World Equivalent Of JDate

Happy Rosh Hashanah, Jews! It's time to celebrate the new year, eat apples and honey, blow the shofar, and, if you're lucky, blow some cute single guy you hook up with in temple! Apparently, these holy days are the genesis of a two-week fuckfest amongst desperate single Jews who want to get their nagging mothers off their backs.

For Jewish singles, the High Holidays bring high hopes, perhaps because they also bring together so many eligible prospects.

"I could see — I don't want to call it 'stalking,' but flirting rituals going on," a rabbi who conducted High Holiday services in New York for 30 years, Larry Raphael, said. From his pulpit at Hebrew Union College's community services, he witnessed the first flowerings of about 10 marriages for which he was later asked to officiate. "It certainly made me pleased."

Even Jews who rarely go to synagogue tend to show up on the High Holidays, the way Christians show up in church at Easter.

"It's like a reunion," the host of OnDating.tv, Andrea Syrtash, said. As hers is a dating advice show, the Manhattanite added, "Take advantage of it."

If you plan to make your move, we suggest doing it during the next two days rather than waiting for Yom Kippur: There's nothing more irritating than a Jewish girl who hasn't eaten all day.

High Holidays of Romance [NYS]