Tabloid-Friendly Larry Birkhead Makes His Private Grieving Moments Work For Him

As father Larry reportedly enters final negotiations with the E! network to co-star in a reality show with daughter Dannielynn Hope Marshall Colby Dexter Fortensky Birkhead, sources close to the events continue to cast the Genetic Sweepstakes winner in a sinister light. Beyond the strenuously denied blow-job bombshells, we now have the testimony of former Birkhead bodyguard Mark Speer, who tells the NY Daily News of the time Larry arranged with paparazzi to be photographed grieving at the grave of Anna Nicole's son:

"They had arranged to wait in some bushes at the cemetery. They took pictures of Larry pretending to be sad and emotional at the grave site. Only the Splash guys weren't quite satisfied, so they asked him to do it again, and for me to get out of the picture. We did three takes. That was the first sign to me that Larry was in it for the money." [...]
Speer adds, "I was with Larry when he went to meet Howard at the Horizon mansion [in the Bahamas]. It was a secret meeting, where he got to see Dannielynn. ... I heard Howard tell Larry that he'd give him custody of the baby if he [would allow] Stern to remain as executor of the estate. Larry said, 'I'll think about it.'

It seems to us hasty to presume Birkhead harbors purely opportunistic motives, simply because a cemetery visit was accompanied by tabloid photographers insisting he tilt his head up and give his best "Why not me, God?" face. Until Speer recalls the evening he witnessed the chunky-highlighted new dad holding up a check and purring to his supposed former nemesis, "How about a romantic lobster dinner for two, courtesy of my Oscar-caliber acting ability and that nosy teen you expertly disposed of, Mr. Hunky Lawyerstein?" we'll refrain from rushing to judgment.