This image was lost some time after publication.

T.V. "newsmagazine" ET has, they say, been working on a story "for the past two months" about how the FBI and the LAPD are investigating "a contract hit" on Kevin Federline, who is the useless flap of skin that used to be attached to Britney Spears. Um what? Also: "Multiple sources tell ET that the FBI made attempts to contact Federline to inform him of the potential danger." Do they need his phone? Couldn't they just like, tell Perez Hilton or something? And is this what took them two months: "When contacted, the FBI told us that the bureau cannot confirm or deny an investigation"? Yup. All that and still their headline is in the form of a question!

Hit Ordered on Kevin Federline? [ET]