So you were kind of a wild girl in your mid-twenties, right? Crazy, but not too crazy? You'd date musicians, sure, but mostly jam band types? "Lezzed up" with your friends in bars, but only to impress the boys? And, of course, one drunken night you and a couple of your friends thought it would be so cute and sorta badass to get a tramp stamp. You picked a butterfly. Of course, that was a few years back. You've grown since then. Changed. You and Steve got married last fall, and, oh my God, this is so great, you just found out you're pregnant! Well, guess what, missy, your semi-sordid past is about to catch up with you!

In 2002, a pair of Canadian anesthesiologists published a report that questioned whether administering an epidural through such a tattoo could be risky. The doctors speculated that complications like inflammation or nerve damage may arise if the needle pulled a bit of dyed skin along with it, and then deposited it into the nerve-rich region outside the spinal column.

The small study of three women — which concluded that there wasn't enough evidence to determine if the practice is safe or not — set off a mini-wave of panic among expectant moms. After the report was picked up by Canadian television, women began sharing their concerns on pregnancy Web sites and chat rooms. In July, a story on the topic appeared in Pregnancy magazine, further fueling anxiety and sending many women to their practitioners for advice.

While experts differ on whether or not this is an actual problem, we have no such compunctions: This is absolutely a judgment from God. Your mother was right. You might as well have just done that heroin the creepy guy from the mailroom offered you at that one party. You WHORE.

Why Some Expectant Moms Are Worried About Tattoos [WSJ]