Judge Denies Request To Give Fred Goldman O.J.'s Twice-Stolen ShitA reinvigorated Fred Goldman, eager to capitalize on his $33.5 million 1997 civil suit ruling against O.J. Simpson, was undoubtedly pleased to learn If I Did It—the hypothetical double-murder confession whose ghostwriter claims is anything but hypothetical—is a hot enough seller to garner a second printing. With Simpson's promotional tie-in of an arrest, Goldman's eyeballs again transformed into spinning dollar signs, as he hoped a judge would award him the much-contested memorabilia at the center of the Palace Station armed robbery—a request the judge rejected:

A judge on Tuesday gave Fred Goldman a week to come up with a list of sports memorabilia O.J. Simpson is accused of stealing from a Las Vegas hotel room, but he refused to order Simpson to hand over his earnings from everything from autograph signings to videogames. [...]
Tuesday's hearing was originally scheduled in connection with any money the Goldmans say Simpson earned from a video game featuring his likeness.

The ruling is a setback for Goldman, who had hoped to collect on sales of O.J. Simpson's Stab Hero III, featuring Wii's motion-sensing slashing knife controls. Goldman will therefore be hard at work in the coming days drawing up the judge's requested list of O.J. memorabilia, dreaming of one day being able to list them on eBay filed under "Vintage Sports Memorabilia > Football-NFL > Motherfucking Stolen Shit."

Bonus Link: What's Kato Kaelin doing during all of this? Eating pizza with power pop group The Lashes!