Harvard Reuniongoer Seeks Ho Who Suits A "Classy Setting"

This ad has already been deemed too douchey for Craigslist, but it is still apparently making the rounds at Harvard, from whence it (supposedly) emanated. "My final club has a reunion this fall, and my relationship of two years ended disastrously earlier this summer. I have an invitation for myself plus one, and am willing to show you a great time. It is a private party, in an extremely classy setting. There is no real way to describe how ornate the club is, but I guarantee that it will be the most upscale experience of your life." Oh, sign us up! But not so fast. This gentleman has some pretty stringent requirements.

Think back to your high school prom, take away the terrible music, and multiply the experience by ten. You must be white, 5'6" - 5'9", young, blonde, attractive, and intelligent. You must be in school, preferably Tufts or Wellesley but BU and BC are acceptable (definitely not MIT). You should be able to hold a conversation, know when to be quiet, and polite in all your behavior. I have seen unruly guests embarrass members before, and I hope this won't be a problem. This event is black-tie, and I am willing to procure an evening gown for you. I hate to sound so harsh, but I have expectations to live up to. No Asian, overweight, or unattractive women please. Ages 18-22 only.

Picture required.

Man, too bad I'm three years too old and impolite in all my behavior! I would love to see this indescribably ornate place. It must be like the Taj Mahal.