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We know that we already mentioned Var's item about DreamWorks Animation romantic enforcer Jeffrey Katzenberg's response to Viacom CEO Phillippe "Just Fucking Try And Give Me The 'It's Not You, It's Me' Conversation, I Dare You" Dauman's thoughtless comments that the possible end of Steven Spielberg's relationship with Paramount would be "immaterial" to his heart's "bottom line," but the dramatic headline hanging over the story in today's print edition has suddenly reframed Katzenberg's retort.

While the mogul's words seemed like a reasonably civil overture for Dauman to make everything right with boomboxes and baskets of baked goods yesterday, this morning all we can think about is Katz personally delivering the message in a flurry of surprisingly sharp fingernail-swipes and vicious blows with an overflowing manpurse, and Dauman showing up to the office today trying to sheepishly blame the ragged scratches on his face on a "shaving accident," but muttering, "Hasn't that little tramp ever heard of a manicure?" under his breath to a sympathetic assistant.