Charlie Sheen No Longer Wants To Shoot Talentless Ex-Wife Denise Richards Into Space

Yet more from the ongoing custody battle between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, which began as a shame-free environment, and has quickly degenerated from there: Richards has now employed a former nanny to make several nauseating allegations about Sheen inappropriately touching his daughters. Not that he's all bad: She also acknowledges that Charlie has made an effort at mending fences, particularly with the following retraction:

In an Aug. 24 e-mail, he apologized for "[my] vile attacks on your very soul ... A comment about your poor Mom ... your professional status ...
... your abilities as a mother, as an actor, all need to be wrapped in shame, and rocketed out into some distant soundless galaxy, where they could flame out."

Let it not be said that Sheen hasn't offered at least one olive branch through these bitterly contentious proceedings, having taken back his wishes that his ex and her limited acting talent be fated to the kinds of severe punishment usually reserved for irredeemable Superman II villains.