Decadent Infidel America Washes Its Butt With Money

Today's Times House & Home section gets to the bottom of the recent innovations in the bidet industry. Seems the fancy ass-washing toilets that clean your foul and constantly feces-soiled buttocks with a high-pressure burst of "well-aimed aerated water," are undergoing some sort of new acceptance in this country. While the evidence provided, numbers-wise, is a bit thin, the piece does offer a somewhat credible rationale for why this non-trend might actually be occurring.

Janice Costa, the editor of Kitchen & Bath Design News, said she started seeing bidet seats at kitchen and bath shows in the last two years. She believes they will catch on within five years as a high-end trend that may eventually broaden. "The toilet is the last bastion that has not been luxurified," she said. "People are looking to upgrade every aspect of their lives, and the toilet is the last to be touched."
Got it? Americans have so few things left to renovate that they are willing to get a mini-colonic each time they take a crap so long as they can brag about how luxurious their shit-closets are. USA!

Flush With Excitement: Pitching the Modern Bidet [NYT]

Convergence Alert: This piece was written by our old orgasmless pal Mara Altman, and it's actually not terrible! Also, the makers of the asswashing machine mentioned in the piece have frequently advertised on Gawker; who knows, they may be doing it right now! We don't really pay attention to the ads. Anyway, small world.