Probable non-billionaire money manager and massage enthusiast Jeffrey Epstein "has agreed to plead guilty to soliciting underage prostitutes at his Florida mansion in a deal that will send him to prison for about 18 months," says the New York Post. He'll also get some quiet house arrest time. The Post claims that the feds will drop their own investigation for his pleading guilty to the Florida state charges. Could be true! Since the feds don't ever talk, and Epstein's main lawyer didn't talk, we assume this was all put out by PR man Howard Rubenstein, in an effort to get it out early and make it blow over. This still is shocking—is Jeffrey Epstein really gonna go to jail, with Clinton-hating Ken Starr and his entourage of lawyers working on his behalf? Travesty! This is not supposed to happen to the rich!