· Earlier today, guest Oprah genitorturer Dr. Oz demonstrated the proper technique for ball-busting. There's a good chance you're not going to watch this one if you've eaten recently.
· Paula Abdul says she's ready for a baby, even if that means adopting. Unfortunately, the interview was conducted before Britney Spears' children hit the market, so no one got to ask if she'd be willing to provide a good home for a pair of Malibu refugees.
· Stallone intimates that the real-life atrocities he witnessed in Myanmar are even more disturbing than the ones you'll soon be able to see in John Rambo.
· Right about now you probably need some unicorns to make the icky feelings from the preceding links go away.