Charlie Sheen's Body Covered In Multiple Stupid Tattoos

Charlie Sheen, author of the "go cry to your bald mom" e-mail suggesting his ex-wife Denise Richards might have more luck extracting sympathy from her cancer-suffering mother than from him, is painfully familiar with the sometimes irreversible consequences of indulging one's impulses. Luckily for him, however, lasers can remove the patchwork of ridiculous tattoos covering his body, as requested by fiancée Brooke "I'd rather not have to stare at Puff the Bookish Dragon every time we make love, honey" Mueller. From Page Six:

Sheen, who spent his early years partying hard and bedding a bevy of actresses, doesn't remember getting some of the gruesome tats, including a dragon with glasses and a stingray on his left ankle.
A wooden sign nailed to his chest above his heart reads, "Back in 15 minutes." That one was originally meant to be an ashtray, he said, but went horribly wrong. Sheen can't even remember the year he got it. One tattoo he's already had lasered off is the "Denise," for ex-wife Denise Richards, on his left wrist.

Before he gets to those others, however, Mueller insisted the technician first attend to the the USC Junior Varsity pep squad team photo tattooed on his inner-thigh, and the pig dressed like an adorable hobo on his lower back—the result of Sheen getting liquored up one night after a particularly ugly day in family court, wandering into a random Sunset Strip tattoo parlor, and demanding a "jobless pig above my ass, in honor of Denise."