A missed connection. You: Hot gay dude, maybe late 30s, some gray in your trim beard, on the Long Island Rail Road headed westbound circa noon on Saturday. You wear your iPhone headphones reversed—the right earpiece has the little microphone, silly goose! You were opening your mail and I couldn't help but notice your recent lab work results from the gay health center looked good (yay!), that you got ticketed recently for having your dog off leash (I love dogs too!), and that you're late on your taxes. We have so much in common! I was a little concerned about that letter you got saying that your driver's license was revoked? But then I decided that you were maybe opening a friend's mail for them! That is so sweet of you. I noticed that you were texting friends and they were all women; I'm glad you like women too, those gay guys who don't are weird. P.S. I hope your flight at 1:30 on Sunday afternoon went well and I think I love you!