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While a story about how Los Angeles's fun supply could be threatened by anti-narcotic crackdowns might ordinarily be an occasion to panic, we can all be comforted by the knowledge that the exciting innovations in smuggling technology being developed outside of U.S. borders could probably be adopted by domestic suppliers before a bottleneck brings our city to a grinding halt.

And even if a shortage never really develops, we can see a drug-bug craze really catching on, with considerate party hosts filling their punchbowls with coke-filled cicadas, and the floors of every club's bathroom littered with the cracked-open, snorted-clean bodies of scores of blowhoppers.