The Great Diaper Wars

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

I hate babies—no no, not your little heavenly angel! But really, I hate them so much that I can't stand to walk down the diaper aisle in supermarkets. But now, we're all in that diaper aisle, as we happen to be in the middle of a pissing contest between Kimberly-Clark's Huggies and Procter & Gamble's Pampers. K-C is running a T.V. spot that claims that Pampers apparently fit brick-shaped babies better than human babies—and the matter has been dragged into court. Let's take this to the playground!

Here's the spot. It's the first diaper commercial I can remember that doesn't involve the pouring of beakers full of yucky blue liquid to show absorption (ew). And don't worry: unlike previously, there are no visible shit stains.

Last Thursday, a federal judge denied a motion by Proctor & Gamble to stop the Huggies ads from airing. P&G calls Huggies completely full of crap, saying in a statement "We don't think K-C's advertising is fair or accurate or serves consumers well." P&G is also seeking triple its damages for lost business and harm to reputation. Big babies!

Huggies countered by telling Pampers you'll always be 'No. 2' in the two+ billion dollar U.S. diaper market. "....[T]here is a clear and real difference between the two products in question," according to Deb Bauer, who is the marketing director for Huggies. "The ad itself was clever and humorous and effective at getting that point across."

P&G? You're in some deep doo-doo. I think you need to take this brick thing and literally throw it right back at K-C. Maybe shoot some commercials where you throw bricks through Huggies showing how badly made they are, or something. Get your agency on it—at the very least, stop whining about it to your lawyers.