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NBC Universal announced today that it has bought Oxygen Media, that home for the has-been (see: "Tori & Dean," "Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty," and "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency,") for the bargain basement price of $925 million. The deal for the seven-year-old Lifetime-rival network will ensure that the founders of Oxygen will finally be able to feed their children and rest easy at night, knowing their financial worries are behind them. You know: Oxygen co-founder? Oprah Winfrey. Oxygen investor? Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen. We're sure they're totally pissed that they didn't get to pocket that $3 billion "BET money" they were hoping for. Because now how will they buy more megayachts and/or Maui?