• Britney Spears' inelegant behavior on the witness stand only netted her one night a week of visitation with her kids. [TMZ]
  
• But that won't stop her from beginning to audition dancers today for her comeback tour! Hey, way easier to tour now with no kids! [Us]
  
• Michael "Lindsay's dad" Lohan lied to the 41-year-old Long Island divorcee he was cheating on with a younger woman like so: "When he was melancholy once, I asked him, 'Is there someone else in your life?' He said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Who is that?' and he said, 'God.'" [Page Six]

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