While we at Defamer aren't typically in the business of reporting about any award that isn't voted upon by industry guilds or the George Lopez-Loving People, we nevertheless feel obliged to relay the news that former Vice President and Lifetime Friend to Prius-Driving Hollywood Types Al Gore was awarded the Nobel Prize today, along with his colleagues from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. (You'll think us crazy, but we dreamed this would happen, in an epic nighttime hallucination involving Leonardo DiCaprio applying suntan lotion to Gore's back on a polar ice cap melted down to approximately the size of a manhole cover.) Leave it to the British, then, to acid rain on his Peace Prize parade:
One day before Friday's announcement that he was a co-winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, a British High Court judge ruled that Gore's global warming film, "An Inconvenient Truth," while "broadly accurate," contained nine significant errors.
The claim was originally filed by truck driver Stewart Dimmock, whose two children have not yet seen the film. [...]
The British claim was not the first time that the film's use in schools has been criticized...Frosty E. Hardison [of Federal Way, Wash.], a computer consultant and evangelical Christian, was outraged when he learned that the film would be shown in his daughter's seventh-grade science class. He sent an e-mail to the school board, declaring, "No, you will not teach or show that propagandist Al Gore video to my child, blaming our nation — the greatest nation ever to exist on this planet — for global warming."
For some, no number of awards—not even Oscars and a Nobel, the Cadillacs of the trophy circuit!—will sway them from their dangerous views that they have been hand-picked by God Himself to plunder the planet to their whims, free to fill their bellies on polar bear snouts and panda ribs if they so chose. But while we fear the British, with their diesel-coughing double-decker buses and chips-oil saturated atmosphere may be beyond salvation, it's never too late to save ourselves: Perhaps the message would be more easily digestible by American audiences if Gore's efforts were fêted in a televised awards ceremony presented in the round and hosted by the immensely likable Ryan Seacrest, with the occasional cutaway to an LCD disco-ball every time the environmental crusader got a little too apocalyptic for Fox censors' tastes.