American Hero Don Imus To Make Glorious Return

Wealthy Connecticut cowboy and casual racist Don Imus is finally returning to the airwaves! WABC is going to pay the mean old man millions of dollars (or "a eight-figure, multiyear contract," according to DRUDGE) to bring his trademark blend of ethnic jokes and embarrassing appearances from fawning political journalists back to New York's morning drivetime.

Imus is totally pissed at everyone who criticized his little comment about those colored ladies, especially noted uppity bitch Hillary Clinton, whom he is maybe going to kill?

The senator, who Imus has called "satan" and the "devil," traveled to Rutgers in April to praise the women's basketball team for its response to the controversy. In a campaign email, Hillary called Imus's comments "small-minded bigotry and coarse sexism."

"Hillary, prepare to meet your maker!" a source close to the host joked early Monday.

And how will WABC make sure Imus doesn't end up getting himself fired again, or netting them some FCC fines? "We'll have him on a standard 40-second delay," a studio source explains — which is actually almost six times longer than we thought the "standard" delay was, but if that's how much time station management will need to sort the "funny" bigotry from the unacceptable bigotry, well, let them have their fun.

THE RESURRECTION OF IMUS: RETURNS ON NATION'S TOP TALK STATION [DRUDGE REPORT]