For all the industry analysis and hullabaloo over Fox Business Network's debut today (The market strategy! The innovation! The jargon-free-zone!), fact is? With this cast of Benetton hotties reading the news, ratings can't be too far behind, no matter what kind of news-network-as-revolution shtick their marketing team is putting out there. We found all these ladies in just five minutes of airtime. For those of you not interested in the Victoria's Secret Network, FBN offers you the spectacle of watching a 60-year-old anchor introduce a segment by welcoming his viewers thusly: "Glad you could join us on this, our first day. [To which Cheryl Casone pumps fist and actually says "Woohoo!"] Hopefully you'll come back and visit us over and over as we become this, like, family." Like, totally, Tom Sullivan. Woohoo!

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