So here's the scenario: You're idly perusing the online Rolodex of a new love or "luv" interest —his roster of Facebook friends—and you come across one or more instances of the following: "We hooked up and it was astonishing, obviously." "We hooked up and I'll never be the same again." "We hooked up and I felt connected to my body in a way I never had before. It was like being struck by lightning." What to think? Is your man some kind of slut analog of a Facebook Zombie or Vampire, but instead of "biting chumps" he is spreading whatever he has to spread IRL? Or is he a regular, relatively chaste sort of person whose friends think they are being funny?
Guess what: the latter. "I don't know anyone who uses that feature, " says Nate*, a 24-year-old writer. "It's sort of weird to broadcast that to everyone, publicly, even in the age of TMI." He says he refuses to say how he knows people at all, actually: "I don't like filling it out. Seems superfluous. If the person has already done so, I'll confirm, but i never click one of the boxes myself." A glance at his Facebook profile bears this out.
Dave*, a 22-year-old editor, agrees that it would be weird to publicly acknowledge a hookup via Facebook. "Only jokingly!" he assures us. "I lie on 90% of those anyway. If i can't come up with something funny i will leave it blank, which i think is against Facebook etiquette anyway." He pauses. "Ha, now i'm going to go see if there is anyone on Facebook i'm listed as having hooked up with who i actually hooked up with." We checked too! Dave, did you hook up with your friend Josh, who says your dalliance was "intoxicating?"
Julie*, 26, a "T.V. personality," responds vehemently when asked whether she would cop to a Facebook hookup. "FUCK no! I'd only do that about people whom it's "ironic" to have hooked up with, whom you so clearly didn't." She paused. "Although now that's getting to be lame, because everyone does that. I hate how being ironic works. It's like, it works for a minute, then it's mainstream." Cheer up, Julie! You can still respond to a friend request by saying that you're someone's mother or sister.
Actually, that usually means you have hooked up with them.
* = fake names!