Valleywag usually doesn't run party pics more than a day after the event, but this weekend's bash was way too fun (you should have been there!) to pass up. Valleyschwag, the corporate-goodies-of-the-month-club run by the web developers at Rubyred Labs, hosted a hoedown at its office in San Fran's SOMA district. The dazzling shots above and below are by I-can't-believe-he's-not-pro photographer Scott Beale.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


Desperate for his costume's finishing touch, Rubyred's Ted Grubb ripped this mustache off a passing hobo.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


It's next summer's superhero hit: GigaOM and Scobleizer, the blogger duo. With their piles of VC funding combined, they're just two gym memberships away from Batman and Robin.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


The Valleyschwag team. (Don't even think about it. She's 17.)

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


Digg.com founder Kevin Rose couldn't make it, so he sent this convincing wax figure in his stead.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


These ladies were deemed too salacious and were asked to stop their heathen dance.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


Around 1 AM, some real cowboys walked in and kicked Valleyschwagger Jonathan Grubb's ass back to the dude ranch.

The main event was the schwag fashion show, MC'd by video blogger Irina Slutsky.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


She just met the guy who fits in this hat.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


Consider the talent competition over.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


The back reads, "eBay China. We haven't landed anyone in jail yet."

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


When Meetro's Vincent Lauria feels hot, his clothes had better get the fuck out of the way.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


Whore.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


"Thor Muller, I wish I could quit you."

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


"They can't haves it! It's mine, my precious!"

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


This is why we got the Brokeback jokes out of the way.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


Blogger Chris Messina is having so much fun talking about this party with his chat room friends.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


The infamous etched Powerbook that made the world's geeks so transparently jealous this week.

Geek out: Horseback and schwag hoes at the Valleyschwag Hoedown


Robert Scoble wants you to work for PodTech.

Valleyschwag Hoedown [Laughing Squid]