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WEB 2.0 SUMMIT — Kleiner Perkins venture capitalist John Doerr is the last scheduled speaker of the Web 2.0 Summit. He starts in 45 minutes. 5:05 on a Friday? Who stuck him with that slot? Anyway, it's just in time for happy hour, we say. Make his lecture fun by printing out this page and playing along with our John Doerr drinking game. Before you head into the hall and take your seat, fill your flask and bring a box of Kleenex. That and our cheat sheet will help you power through the end of the conference.

Take one drink when Doerr does any of the following:

  • Mentions the environment
  • Mentions his daughter
  • Says the phrase "This is bigger than _______"
  • Enters the session on a Segway
  • Refers to Al Gore, or mentions the Nobel Prize

If you see tears, take two drinks and offer the man a Kleenex.

If he somehow manages to explain, convincingly, that Kleiner Perkins' recent investment in Chinese shirt factories is really environmentally-friendly, finish your flask.