Uptown's craziest scandal has reached a major meltdown point! Upper East Side dealer Lawrence Salander and his gallery Salander O'Reilly are getting sued every which way but loose by angry clients and dealers and lenders, and so a State Supreme Court judge has shut the shit-blizzard down entirely. We can guarantee one thing: A number of really rich people are gonna get shafted out of this, no matter how much court supervision takes place. Carol Cohen, the widow of the CEO of Madison Square Garden? She's never gonna see the $3.4 million worth of art she "stored" at the gallery that Salander allegedly started selling off behind her back. We cannot believe Salander didn't take off for some country without an extradition agreement with the U.S. (China maybe!) with a bunch of cash a few months ago while he still could. What an idiot!