Randi Rhodes: "I Was Watching Football At An Irish Bar"

The face of Air America host Randi Rhodes has had it rough the last couple of days. It lost some teeth; it bruised its eye. First it was reported that Rhodes had been mugged while walking her dog, perhaps by a right wing conspiracy. Then it came out that she wasn't in fact mugged but had imbibed 14 Bloody Marys instead and that that might have had something to do with how her face made the intimate acquaintance of the sidewalk. And now she clarifies—in such a vague and flippant way that we assume that she blacked out and is struggling to come to terms with her alcoholism, which is, judging from this audio clip from her show, not going very well.

"I was watching football at an Irish bar and I went outside to smoke, a cigarette. The next thing I knew I was on the ground face down and bleeding from my mouth and my eyeball. I don't know if someone mugged me from behind or if I had just fainted (I hadn't eaten anything all day) but I can tell you my fall was not broken by my hands, it was broken by my face and a steel grate on the concrete...I think of it as the perfect smoky eye but there is only one."

Giggles! Not knowing at all what had happened, Rhodes wrote Air America saying she had been mugged, that her teeth had been knocked out and that she had to go to the dentist.

Imagine her surprise when she woke up in the morning to see that reports that she had been mugged and that her teeth had been knocked out were splashed across the news world. But since she had a black eye and missing teeth (not to mention a killer hangover) she decided not to comment and let the story grow.

Her doctors couldn't find any physical explanation for why she had fainted. Perhaps someone had hit her from behind and then disappeared. Perhaps the Liquor Fairy did it.