According to a stunning Post exclusive, the NYPD pretty much operates like last week's wacky Onion story about an "entire precinct made up of loose cannons." They obtained the 2006 annual report by NYPD's Internal Affairs Bureau, and they make the most of the alternatively hilarious and creepy findings. Cops are all stealing from dead people and doing drugs and coercing women into having sex with them.

The NYPD has made a fine art of unconscionably scummy theft. There were the cops who stole from a little cancer girl to pay their cellphone bills and buy some new rims, one lady who pretended her dad had Alzheimer's so she could steal his house, and the cop who answered calls involving people dying of natural causes so he could steal their credit cards and head to Home Depot. And it's a shame The Onion already ran that story because they used up all the best "renegade cop" jokes that we always look forward to making. Everyone's getting kicked off the force! "The number of cops stripped of their guns and badges and placed on modified duty jumped 55 percent, from 137 to 212," even though all of them presumably GET RESULTS, DAMMIT.

This is particularly good timing for Ridley Scott's "American Gangster," by the way.

The Post has been on a crusade against New York's Finest recently, pointing out that many cops are roided-up power junkies who occasionally dress as giant sperm.

Crooked-Cop Cases Surge [NYP]