Dave Zinczenko's Seen the Future: It Is Magazines!

Men's Health's editor Dave Zinczenko has peered into the future of media, and he, unlike everyone else, is not worried. Nothing to feel, everyone! Magazines will be around forever and people will always buy them, even though everyone's circulation keeps sliding. How does Zincetera know this? Because it already is the future, and no one dresses like they're in Logan's Run. Think about it!

In thousands of the films and television shows about the future that Zinczenko has seen or had described to him or maybe saw the poster at Blockbuster a couple years back, everyone dresses identically, often in beige. And sometimes they are talking apes! But now it's 2007 and everyone still dresses in different funny t-shirts because it's just human nature to want to share your love of Anchorman catch phrases with the world. So therefore magazines will be fine. Pay no attention the circulation trends behind the curtain!

"My guess is," Dave says presumptuously, "your home looks a lot like mine."

Serious books line the walls, picture books adorn the coffee table. A newspaper sits on the breakfast table, spread out for family and guests; magazines occupy space in your briefcase and bags, ready to do service on the morning commute or the next picnic.

Wow, it's like he's describing my house! And oh to find out what these "serious books" are. The Abs Diet is no trifle, obviously.

One point he makes that is actually pretty good is that paperbacks will always exist because boring losers will always need to try to impress girls on the train.

Not Fade Away [Media Magazine]