When a CNN Headline News-Travel and Leisure poll revealed that our own "sixth borough," Philadelphia, was home to the least attractive people in the United States, a guy we know who used to live there sent an email to his fellow Philly expats living in NYC. It read, "You know how I always say in Philadelphia, the two-eyed man is king?" But some people would beg to differ.
"I don't know what their methodology is but I am actually confused by this finding. Because, like, unless you have something against snaggletoothed skinny-fat guys with sleeve tattoos and beer guts and probably some very dated piercings whose idea of making an effort is carrying around a customized messenger bag, Philadelphia is a total man mecca," complained Jo, 28, a blogger who used to live in Philly. She isn't kidding that that is her type.
"I do think that if you were what the Philly kids would call a "reg," that it would be slightly harder to find a doable mate," she conceded.
Huh, what's a "reg?" Perhaps Lorraine, a 30-year-old writer and fellow former Philadelphian, can shed some light: "Well my neighborhood wasn't that ugly, but outside my neighborhood was basically a lot of poor white trash. And poor black trash, and poor Hispanic trash. Not to be racist or classist or anything but... yeah."
Sally, another former Philadelphian, contends that it really is that ugly, and yes, because of the poors: "There are some pretty people in Center City and in the suburbs, but there are a lot more poor people everywhere else, so that probably contributes to the overall ugliness rating. Because you never really see a pretty poor, only in the movies. In life they generally have bad teeth and poor skin and bad dye jobs, and the corn products they eat make them odd-shaped. So really, Forbes is just picking on the poors."
Still, Jo contends that there are plenty of cities in the US uglier than her former hometown. "Seriously, also CHICAGO? I mean holy fuck, SEATTLE???? These are really ugly places. I was like the most attractive person in Seattle." And she is hot, but.
"I don't know Philly that well; I'd equate ugly with impoverished. So Detroit would be up there," claimed Derek, 26, a travel writer. But Alan, 27, a writer who's originally from Chattanooga, makes a case for an entire region. "The vast majority of people in the south are, wholly and completely, aesthetically retarded.
Fat, slovenly, slack-jawed, mouth-breathers with hollowness in their eyes." He's probably right because chances are, they don't even have messenger bags there.