WGA Gives Up Reality TV For Now, Studios To Explore Nonunion Staffing Options


Perhaps realizing that local supermodel hopefuls like the ones who've previously supplemented the WGA's organizing efforts will be far too busy taking jobs on the 25 model-search-related shows the networks will rush into production in the event of a writers' strike to once again work the picket line, the Guild will no longer pursue jurisdiction over reality TV programming when negotiations resume on Thursday, according to a report in Variety. Emboldened by this concession, the studios will attempt to shake the Guild's resolve by unveiling a PowerPoint presentation demonstrating the ready availability of cheap, nonunion labor they can employ during a walkout, centered around the video samples posted to the promotional website of their first post-strike hire, Alex Perez:

Welcome film industry!

Allow me introduce you to the newest member of your writing staff...me!

I have long believed that good things come to those who wait for the right situation to emerge. I have also long believed in aiding those in need during times of struggle and strife. That's why I want to team up with you, Hollywood, to help make 2008 the best year at the box office ever!

I'm Alex Perez, and while I may lack experience, I make up for it with a go-get-'um attitude that can't be matched. Let's be realistic, there's a chance a writers' strike might happen, and while nobody wants that to occur, we all need to start making the necessary plans in case it does. Thank you for your support and please think of me when hiring your screenwriter for the future.

Sincerely,

Alex Perez

A quick tour of Perez's video page reveals that the nonunion scribe ("scab" is such an ugly word, isn't it?) is a master of multiple genres, allowing him to step right in to punch up virtually any script that remains unpolished by the Oct. 31st deadline. And Perez's slick web presence seems to indicate that he's much better equipped to handle all the work soon coming his way than predecessor George "Scab Writer" Ellis, who prematurely started hawking his strike-breaking wares on MySpace back in May, but who has since disappeared from the site without a trace.