Keanu Reeves Not As Dumb As He Looks, ActsS

The date: October 22, 2007

The place: Mercer Street

Sighted: Walking north on Mercer street right now with a short grey-haired man. Dressed rather oddly for the weather—- big work boots and snow hat. Taller, and more Botoxed, than expected.

Everyone in Hollywood is Botoxing these days. Ashlee Simpson is doing it at only twenty-three, Nicole Kidman's forehead hasn't moved since she was married to Tom Cruise, and no judgment on that reality will be passed here. After all, celebrities have essentially one job—to remain better-looking and thinner than the rest of us so as we watch them from our couches, eating peanut butter from the jar and wondering where our lives went, we won't see even a passing resemblance to ourselves that makes us reflect inward. If they need to employ pharmaceuticals, illegal drugs, surgery or other life-endangering methods to make this happen, so be it. That's why they get paid the big bucks. Plus, the alternative is horrific.

That being said, there's something off about the idea that Keanu Reeves is now Botoxing. Say what you will about the man; he's only famous because of his bone structure, his movie-star, vanity-band is awful, "The Lake House" was the the best time-transcending love story since "Back To the Future," but there is one thing we can all agree on—it doesn't seem like he showers that much.

Obviously he's not just acting like a dirty person, at least not believably, so getting needles stuck in his skin to appear younger seems to be something he wouldn't have the inclination to do either. Perhaps though, Keanu is smart. Maybe he realizes that his success thus far and any success in the future can only be related to his looks and he is willing to do whatever it takes to maintain them. Good for him.

I just hope he didn't get a plastic surgery recommendation from his friend Patrick Swayze. Because that guy should have his license taken away. Yes. His license to have a face.