British Guy Wakes Up To Find He Has An Old Gay Dude On His Back

Paul Croft, a working-class bloke from Nottingham, had a giant tattoo of Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore etched on his back—a gesture meant to surprise and delight his five Potter-obsessed children. We think it's safe to say that of the many dangers Croft tried to anticipate in subjecting himself to the painful and permanent procedure, the after-the-fact outing of the character by the author at a public lecture in New York City was not one of them:

"It's been terrible. I've always liked Dumbledore - just not in that way.

"I went into work and everyone was sniggering. When I walked in, one of the lads said, 'Oi, Paul - heard about Dumbledore?'

"There were wisecracks about 'Watch your backs, lads.' Someone asked me if I was planning to get a tattoo of Graham Norton. I thought, 'Why me?' "

Paul said: "It seemed like a good idea at the time...I don't regret it and I'm not going to get rid of it."

Regardless of whether it was his original intention, we still think Croft is to be commended for choosing to remain a walking billboard to rainbow-wizarding pride, and not camouflaging the portrait with a far less risky tattoo of his children's latest obsession: unambiguously heterosexual star of High School Musical, Zac Efron.