Our friends at GOOD Magazine would like you to know that it's actually pretty selfish of you to die because it turns out it's quite terrible for the environment! You're causing global warming and polluting the ground water! Why can't you be more like the whimsical, fetishized Japanese, or one of the nebulous "many countries [where] you can be buried in a forest and grow into a tree that will convert carbon dioxide into oxygen"?

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