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There's a middle-aged woman that I always see at the Printing House Gym. She spends somewhere between 4 and 5 hours on the Stairmaster every day. Her shirt is way too small for her body and sometimes her entire chest becomes unrestrained. She sings to herself loudly and does Fosse-like jazz hands. It's frightening! But, as the Times notes, gyms are now just nut huts for the fitness-conscious rich.

Tamilee Webb, a fitness instructor in San Diego, teaches three to four times a week. One of her students repeats this mantra before each workout: "It's hard body time — 1, 2, 3 woof!" When he's not doing cardio, his shoes must be untied. He always wears sweat pants, which he tucks behind the tongues of his sneakers (Nike, of course). And his hat is always on backward.

But it's not just a West Coast thing. It even happens in Connecticut!

Tom Holland, 38, an exercise physiologist in Darien, Conn., recalled the "very particular" client who requested that he hand him weights with the numbers pointing up. "I had to stand a certain way in front of him, and he paid me to run next to him while he wore an iPod," Mr. Holland recalled.

Oh, so "exercise physiologist" is what they call that up in Darien!