Britney Spears, Cop-Foot Killer

Leaving yet another of those custody hearings in which Commissioner Scott Gordon places life-sized cardboard cut-outs of Britney and K-Fed on either sides of the room, plops both children dead center, and renders his verdict based on which lesser-of- two-evil- parent-standees the boys end up crawling to, the singer once again rolled over a bystander's foot with her car as she peeled away from the proceedings. Only this time, that foot belonged to a cop:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ the LAPD is conducting an investigation into a traffic mishap Friday, when Britney Spears ran over an L.A. County Sheriff deputy's foot.

Sources tell TMZ that the victim has no broken bones but is hobbling around the courthouse on crutches and has been reassigned to light duty.

UPDATE: The LAPD tells TMZ "The LAPD is aware that Britney Spears was leaving the courthouse. We are also aware that a deputy was injured. The LAPD is unable to confirm the details on the deputy's injury because the investigation is in its initial stage."

Spears could wind up doing hard time for the hit-and-run metatarsalcide, where she'll be lumped with the rest of the prison population's cop-foot killers—widely considered to be the most hardened and feared category of the entire foot-mangling criminal underclass. The Britney who would emerge from life on the inside—25-pounds of muscle heavier, a Hang Ten logo tattooed under her left eye—would contain barely a glimmer of the young, vivacious pop starlet with whom we first fell in love.