The Serious Issue Of 'Vice'

According to a recent piece in Wired, the boys at Vice want to be taken seriously. (So much so that they've pretty much run off their badboy editor Gavin McInnis.) Enough with their stories of cocaine usage, tampons in hilarious and unwitting cavities and Ludlow Street depravity! Their latest issue is on Fear. The cover depicts a wolf with a maggot-eaten arm in its mouth! Talk about gravitas!

Then it has this story called "I Peed On My Gran's Head," which, while amazing, isn't perhaps as hard-hitting as they might have wanted:

I went back to my hometown and stayed at my grandmother's house for a couple of days. One night I went to a local bar with some old friends and got really drunk. Somehow I staggered back to my gran's house and went to bed.

In the morning, all bleary-eyed, I got up and started eating breakfast. As I was doing this I noticed my grandma dragging her wet mattress out to the balcony to dry. She was silently fuming and refused to talk to me. Finally, after an hour of me asking her what was wrong, she started crying and asked me, "Are you proud of yourself?"

I had no idea what she was talking about. She proceeded to tell me that I had gotten up in the middle of the night, stumbled into her bedroom, unzipped, and started pissing on her bed while she was sleeping in it. With my pee raining down on her, she shouted at me to stop, but I screamed back at her, telling her to fuck off, and then toddled off to bed.

Oh wow.

Musical Bonus: Golden Hours by Meatus Murder