World's Strongest Man Endorses America's Mayor

Marion "Pat" Robertson is the founder of the Christian Coalition, host of the 700 Club, and the strongest man in the world. Also he theoretically might be still kind of an important figure among all the Jesus people? It's hard to tell these days! We need a lengthy Times magazine story to either scare the shit out of the sinning Manhattanites or ease their worries with soothing promises that the fundies have all decided they like Obama. Anyway! Today, this Robertson guy took a break from hoisting a bus stop aloft with one arm tied behind his back to endorse fellow occasionally terrifying self-parody Rudy Giuliani. This is the point at which Mitt Romney would shoot himself in the head—if he wasn't concerned it'd muss his hair.

While it may initially seem odd that a fire-and-brimstone preacher type might embrace our fun-loving, gay roommate-having former mayor, keep in mind that while Pat Roberston does indeed think that 9/11 happened because Rudy Giuliani thought gays should get married and have abortions, Robertson is also a corrupt criminal who owned a race horse and used his televangelism to prop up Charles Taylor and his Liberian gold-mining investments. So he ought to do pretty well in an Arab-nuking, friends'-interest-looking-out-for Giuliani administration!

Except for all the tsunamis that will engulf America when President Rudy performs the first White House Gay Divorce.

What is actually kind of odd about this is that every time we've watched the 700 Club this season (which is nightly, jeez), they've all been creaming their jeans over Mike "Fattie Until He Found God or Something" Huckabee, but we guess Robertson decided to throw his impressive superhuman strength behind the little rat-faced dude with a chance of winning the nomination.

Pat Robertson Endorses Giuliani [WP]