Hero Kerik Caught Up In Federal Witch Hunt

Federal prosecutors are asking a grand jury to indict Bernie Kerik, the man who personally saved New York and Iraq from all the criminals. You accept one $165,000 bribe and suddenly all your accomplishments mean nothing. Kerik also failed "to report as income more than $200,000 in rent that they say was paid on his behalf to use a luxury Upper East Side apartment," but jeez, who among hasn't forgotten to save an important receipt or two? Let's all pray for a speedy resolution to this whole misunderstanding, so that Kerik's name can be cleared and President Giuliani can once again begin appointing him to various government positions against the recommendations of any sensible people he might still have around him. We kinda like the sound of "Secretary of State Bernard Kerik." We should set up the Kerik Legal Defense Fund so Bernie can start actually paying his lawyers!

U.S. Will Ask a Grand Jury to Indict Kerik [NYT]